Remember Your Roots

All this talk of moving forward, and now that I'm finally there... In a different place, the next step in life so to speak... all I want to do is go back.  Back to the mountains that have been home for 4 years.  Back to the friends I know and trust, the ones who know me too.  The life I made for myself, the one God molded and shaped, with many trials along the way.  So much of what I love is in that place, the one I was drawn to so strongly.  And anyone who ever loved Mars Hill can tell you, "there's just something about that place".  Very few can put there finger on what it is, but then that doesn't even really matter.  What does is that we all know it exists, that "something" and we're either drawn to it or repelled by it.  I myself, was drawn, and though I know I have to be away from it right now, I feel a constant tug from that direction.  An I'm not done with you here call you might say.  I left my heart in them thur hills.  With the rising and setting of the sun over the mountains.  Brilliant colors of the changing leaves of autumn.  Snow covered hill of winter.  The fragrant flowers of spring that suddenly appear everywhere over-night, bearing the hope of fewer frosty nights.  The character of Asheville always offering something new.  I'm not sure you can ever see it all, no matter how long you've been there.

It is the place where many of us took our first steps.  Where some learned to do their laundry for the first time and others learned holding onto your faith can sometimes be harder than you ever imagined.  Where others learned the American language and culture and still others found themselves able to stay grounded throughout many a trying time at home.  Its where we found each other, and found in each other someone to lean on.  Someone to hold tight to for dear life.  When everything was sinking, when you didn't realize you were drowning until a friend gave you a glimpse of the surface, when everything was going right and they kept you grounded, these are the friends who cling tight to each other under the glory of the mountains.

It was this place that saw me heart broken, mended, mistaken, gone astray, revived and rebuilt.  And finally it is here that I found love.  It was in the fresh white snow fall that it began to brew.  A miracle all its own.  When you're told that God has something better for you than you ever could have imagined ... well its in this place that my something better happened.  A love that in my wildest dreams I could never have imagined on my own.  Where two people are so in step with each other.  And when one is down the other is there helping to hold them until they can continue on.  I have found what I thought was to good to ever happen to me.  What I always prayed for but had to stop looking and trust to happen upon it.  It is another moment like many before where I find myself saying to God, "I don't deserve this, I can't ever thank you enough"  and He replies with "I know, so stop trying and just keep walking beside me".

Oh, Mars Hill.  It's been a lot of work.  A lot of sweat and blood and tears.  A long road to finding oneself.  And our hearts bear the scars to prove it, but they also beat stronger as a result.  For every trial, for every heartache, for every moment of darkness though, there have been many of light.  And in the end, its worth all the struggles for what we had.  And I can never forget that.  I never will.  And yes maybe, now it's time to move on.  But I refuse to cut the ties because they are now the roots that ground me.  They are what I cling to with all my might, the memories that keep me going and remind me that there is hope.  Yes, I will move on, make new friends, have a life in my next step, but it will never remove my love for the Hill and I pray to never forget the lessons I learned there, the ones that have made me a better person.  The ones give me pride in calling myself a LION!

Opposites Attract

Finding a place in life where both fancy dresses and hockey sticks fit hand in hand...
Seeking to fit in and remembering you were meant to stand out.
Dazzle them with your smile and warm them with your heart.
Take the beating from the hecklers and fight to keep your feet.
Hear the cheering of the fans while staying on your knees.

Solid Ground

    Isn't it crazy, the moment you realize you can move on from something that has been holding you back for so long from pressing forward with your life.  When you realize the one thing you once loved most in the world is now the thing that's hurting you the deepest because you've been letting it keep you from being used by God for something bigger.
     John Mark's song says it best with the line, "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about ... how He loves us!"  Its so true.  This life is like a moment passing in time and every second wasted is another closer to the end.  We have so little time to do all we can for the kingdom, shouldn't we make it our life's mission to do everything we can, to run down the path God has laid out for us.  To not hesitate when it is so clearly laid out in front of you.  There may be a fog over the path, we may not be able to see any farther than where our next step goes, but we can take that step.  We can put one foot in front of the other in faith and know that the ground is solid beneath our feet as long as we stay on the path.
    "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, fro tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:33-34
     This life of mine I worry about so much.  I worry that I will do with it what God desires and yet so often I don't have the faith to let go of my life and let Him do with it what he wishes.  I here the call so loudly one day and the next it falls silent.  Here is to learning that when you here you obey and you follow until you here again.  You do not stop or stray just because you don't get constant affirmation.  If we're faithful and diligent, there is no way God is going to let us mess up his mighty, powerful, perfect plan.

I will look back no farther, but only ahead at that one step directly in front of me and upward to the promise of a better place with no more tears or suffering.

The Fight for Love

Through the pain I take my stand
Upon the mountains of this land
And look upon the open sky
Taking hold of wings I fly

Above the noise and chaos great
To the silence that holds my fate
Breathing in the pure of heart
This new life with which I take my start

Bring the sorrow, bring the pain
Bring the healing in this rain
For real love I choose to fight
Love found only in the light

The wounds I gave myself run deep
Forever marked with scars I keep
Remind me of your promise true
That I will forever live with you.

Forever 7

This is my world, the place where fancy dresses and hockey sticks go hand in hand.  Where the high heels in the closet live in peace with the soccer cleats in the garage.  Where you're never to old to dance around in your underwear singing full volume into a hair brush.  Where trees are meant to be climbed and you will never forget who taught you how to climb them.
Where the grass stains on your jeans show just how hard you play and the scrapes on your knees show the passion with which you pray.  Where the mountains outside my window literally bow down with praise.  The sunsets colors are painted on my walls and the ocean is my lullaby whenever darkness falls.  I dream in color but see the truth in black and white.  Tears, well they happen, sometimes good, sometimes bad but always matched with a bigger plan.  Here is where Daddy always said "you can be whatever you want to be" and those are the words I choose to believe.